Page 9 - The Kettle May 2012

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Full Circle to Health & Safety
The magnificent Gloriana will lead the seven-mile
procession from Battersea Bridge to Tower Bridge with
HM Royal Bargemaster at the helm and rowed by 18
oarsmen mostly the Royal Watermen but also reported
to include Britain’s great Olympian Sir Steve Redgrave.
But it won’t carry the Queen! For health and safety
reasons (yes really) Her Majesty will follow on board
MV The Spirit of Chartwell. This Thames pleasure
cruiser is being decked out as a royal barge of the 18
th
century for the day decorated with flowers from the
Queen’s gardens and loaned by its owner Philip Morrell
a former Barnardo’s Boy who made his fortune by setting
up the Jules Verne Cruise company. In between Royal
Rowbarge Gloriana and MV The Spirit of Chartwell look
out for lots of traditional Thames wherries and skiffs.
Ma’Mite
Lord Salisbury (Eton & Oxford, former merchant banker
and MP, member of John Major’s cabinet, family seat
Hatfield House, personal wealth estimated £250m) is
responsible for organizing the pageant and raising the
£10.5m it’s costing. He’s beyond miffed that large
companies such as BA and Unilever will host riverside
rooftop parties on 3 June but have not contributed.
However no advertising or branding is allowed as he
doesn’t want a “Tesco’s Pageant” which has left M’Lord
in a far less splendid isolation than his ancestor. To rub
salty spread into the wound
Unilever, the Anglo-Dutch
company, that made £4 billion profits last year and has
an office near Blackfriars Bridge on the roof of which it
will host a Diamond Jubilee Party has launched a limited
edition of one of its most famous products, renamed
"Ma'mite" to mark the Diamond Jubilee.
So just about every licensed Thames Watermen left in the
land will be taking part in the fun and frolics on the river
on Sunday 3 June from 2-00pm. In beautiful ancient garb
and on beautiful craft. Do watch it if you can.
It might just knock the London Olympics Opening
Ceremony six weeks later into a cocked hat.
Bargemaster of the Worshipful Company of Fishmongers with a Doggett’s Man
.