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Chaucer’s Wife of Bath in The Canterbury Tales, written
in the 1390s, refers to her confidant, who knew her
business even better than the priest to whom she
confesses, as her
gossib dame.
In the 1750s Dr Johnson’s
Dictionary defined a gossip in the Chaucerian sense as
one who runs about tattling like women at a lying in.
Gossip, by whatever name, is as old as civilization itself –
a clay cuneiform tablet from Ancient Mespotamia dating
to 1500 BC is just one early example spilling the beans
on a city dignitary’s illicit affair with a married woman.
The Finite Nature of Kith & Kin
We only have so many family members, so many friends
and a finite number of neighbours to talk about so maybe
the function of celebrity is to supply a constant flow of
fresh subjects to chew over when we run out of kith and
kin? But why do we need to gossip? It’s that bonding
thing again. Evolutionary biologists and cultural
anthropologists believe that gossip serves an important
role in helping to cement bonds in growing societies –
it’s the equivalent of social grooming in monkeys.
In most primates social hierarchies are based on
dominance involving fear and the threat of violence.
The weak defer to the strong and while that can of course
apply to human societies we have developed a unique
alternative system of hierarchy that is based on prestige.
A form of social status, prestige is given voluntarily in
recognition of admired qualities or achievements.
Monkey Business
In evolutionary terms valuing individuals with useful
and superior qualities boosts the chances of survival for
the whole group. It works by copying individuals who
are having the best results in key activities like hunting
or gathering or making fires but because it is based on
copying the individual and not just the activity it means
that we developed a susceptibility to copy the bad with
the good, the useless with the useful, the trivial with
the important. The thinking is that early men might
have copied how a successful hunter knapped his flint
arrowheads but as part of the package they might also
have copied his personal quirks too believing them to be
intrinsic to his success. So wind the clock forward a few
millennia and we cannot help but be interested in what
sort of car a successful footballer drives or what shoes
a pop singer wears. Blimey. Celebrities feed our primate
minds. It is all monkey business.
Furthermore Christopher Boehm, Professor of Biological
Sciences and Anthropology at the University of Southern
California has concluded from his studies that people in
hunter-gatherer bands are fiercely egalitarian and that
gossip is the key weapon in guarding against individuals
who try to hog food or dominate opinion. Through gossip
we learn about the behaviour of others and are able to
make decisions about what we consider to be acceptable
behaviour. Gossip is how people in simple societies keep
each other in check. Gossip levels us out:
In our innate primate dance with status, gossip
momentarily puts us on even footing with the alphas.
Think that’s a bit far fetched? Well consider this -
neuroimaging studies consistently show that the reward
areas of our brain glow with satisfaction when we feel
schadenfreude, when we gloat at the misfortune of
someone we envy. It would appear to be hot wired into
us. And remember that enjoying the misfortunes of
others was up there number 14 on the Telegraph’s list
of traits that make us British!
Anyone who has obeyed nature by transmitting a
piece of gossip experiences the explosive relief that
accompanies the satisfying of a primary need.
Primo Levi
